I have a severely painful nerve condition called Complex Regional Pain Syndrome. Basically, my right knee was injured a few years ago, and though it is physically healed, my brain believes it to constantly be in a state of sever injury and therefor is always in tremendous pain. Due to this condition, I need a cane to walk.
There's a scale for rating the severity of pain for different conditions called The McGill Pain Index. CRPS always rates extremely high - you can see it compared to other pain conditions here:
That's right, the pain in my leg is worse than it would be to have one of my fingers amputated w/out anesthesia.
It always hurts. Always. Sometimes it feels better than others, but I never have relief from the pain. It hurts so much I have begun to not only perceive pain differently in other parts of my body; but, I have also begun to become used to being in pain. People always ask, "Where on a scale of 1-10 is your pain? Keep in mind 10 is going to the emergency room." If the emergency room could do something, I would have gone long ago. If I were to go to the emergency room now, they would probably tell me that I have CRPS and there's nothing they can do. So, I cannot answer the 1-10 question accurately. What feels like an 8/10 for me, would likely be unbearable for anybody else. Keep in mind that there's a lot that will make the pain worse, while very little that makes it better.
There's a lot I can't do without aggravating this already painful condition:
- Go to movies (seats are too uncomfortable)
- Drive for more than 30ish minutes
- Ride in a car for more than
- Walk for more than 20 minutes w/out taking a break
- Run at all
- Climb stairs comfortably
- Many more
- Take medications like muscle relaxants and antidepressants (pain killers do not work at all)
- Lay down
- Go to physical therapy for 2-6 hours per week
- Use mirror therapy
- Take lots of breaks while out
- Drive as little as possible
Now, you might be wondering why is this post titled "Sleepless nights"? Well, when one is in the amount of pain I'm in (as many others with CRPS will attest to), there are good nights, when my miginary of medications helps me get to sleep despite the pain. Then, there are bad nights. No matter what I do, I just cannot get to sleep.
Last night was one of my sleepless nights. I tried everything I could, and I just could not get to sleep. (It didn't help that the dog kept kicking my knee). Even though it was a terrible night, Bunny was able to help me by doing nothing more than scratching my back and whispering that she was here with me. I never got to sleep until 5:00 am and only slept until 9:30 am, and I'm exhausted today. That said, I'm so glad that I got to spend most of the day with Bunny despite the exhaustion and pain.
No matter how much pain I'm in, she never ceases to amaze me. She's the most caring person in the world. I'm so lucky to be married to such a loving person!
